I have been there helplessly.
I don’t think anyone can give a tutorial on how to fall in love because we simply fall in love.
Some of my friends from various cultures who are reading this are likely thinking, “Magdalene, in my culture, we don’t fall in love. Our marriages are arranged, we make a commitment and we build a life! There is nothing like falling in love… this is all crap!” O.K. got it and I know that this formula works as well! People who have been married for many years, will also tell you, that staying married and in a long-lasting relationship is about commitment (and sometimes not necessarily happiness).
But if you have experienced falling in love helplessly, you know what I am talking about. It is one of those things that I find fascinating but which also leaves me feeling a bit baffled because there is something in that experience which is not logical at all but which is exhilarating beautiful and leaves you feeling completely vulnerable. Worst yet, you can fall in love helplessly with nothing tangible to glue the relationship together. Ouch! My sister Angela, gave some words of wisdom to a young cousin at her 16th birthday. She said, “You will fall in love but you will need to learn how to use your mind and your heart together!” WOW, I thought. How do you train a 16-year-old to do that!
At 16, my parents almost disowned me for falling in love with a man who they would have never considered to be a likely prospect for their daughter. I still remember the day I first saw him, completely intrigued with his hands drumming away at his drums during my first dance class, with a dance group. Did I fall in love with his hands? The drums? His soul rhythm? What happened next had no grounding in anything real – we became entangled in something exhilarating beautiful, led to complete heartbreak a couple of years later but now that I am writing about this almost 30 years later, I know that there was nothing I could have done to stop me or him from having that experience.
What do we fall in love with? A physical look? Touch? Smell? Connection? Achievement? intelligence? Personality?
One person in a powerful position once said to me, “I think the women are falling in love with my position.. not with me.”
Another person said, “Oh they fall in love with my wallet!”
I don’t think that either of these are about falling in love.
Why does one person linger on your mind than any other person? Even after a relationship breaks off, you still continue to think of that one person who just lighted your life, even for a brief moment.
I wish that falling in love was like traffic lights – tells us when to go, when to slow down and when to stop!
Falling in love does not mean you have a relationship with someone.
Falling in love does not mean that the relationship will last either.
Falling in love does not mean that he will love you back or she will love you back.
Falling in love may mean that you are sharing a past life together and there are still karmic ties that need to be completed.
Falling in love may also lead to everlasting love!
Falling in love is complicated because we have no control over it! When we fall… we fall so helplessly. It makes us so vulnerable!
Yet, if you have experienced this, you may agree that there is little more powerful than that indescribable feeling you feel when you are in love…. intoxicated with the sound, smell, taste, feel… of this person, even when you know you can do nothing about making them love you back! If the experience is mutually shared, falling in love is sweet. it is like walking with God where your energy is so high that life just becomes more beautiful all around. You have the ability right there to invite all kinds of miracles in your life because you vibrate at such a high frequency in the universe. Just take a look at someone’s face who is in love. It literally glows!
Why am I writing about falling in love? Am I in love?
I live in love. I breathe love. I simply love loving!
But this one is dedicated to my young friend who is in love. In a recent conversation he shared with me that he is so much in love but does not know what to do. When is the right time to let her know? How should he let her know? He said, “I just can’t stop thinking about her!”
My advice – enjoy the feeling. Tell her. Show her. Take a risk and be vulnerable. Give it time because she too is vulnerable.
If she returns that feeling, YOU are a winner. If she does not, YOU are still a winner because you have opened your heart a bit more by allowing yourself to experience such a beautiful emotion.
Now, what if she does not love you back?
Keep on falling in love with yourself! Keep on meeting new people! Find a way to love her and let her go because you know that at the end of the day, love is best when it is reciprocated. When two people are not on the same page, it can be quite painful.
When you love yourself, like no one else can… you will be surprised to see how much love you get back in return. You see, you can’t love someone else, without loving yourself first! And love, is the greatest of all. By simply finding ways to love and to give love away, you naturally increase your vibration in the universe and attract more love to you.
My friend, have fun falling in love with yourself this weekend! TuneIn to your loving self and Stepup to make every moment of your life, WORTH LIVING!!!!