Last night we celebrated our 16th Anniversary at work. It was a fabulous event – a room of about 400 people, great entertainment, great speakers, great food… an environment of real positive energy. As I floated in the room connecting with all these amazing friends, colleagues and stakeholders, I could not help but laugh at myself (which I do often) in how I seem to be now at complete ease with myself and simply embrace my effortlessness in connecting with others without beating myself.
Why do I say that?
To most people, I am sure that I seem to be a confident, friendly, happy person – and I am all of that. However, for most of my life I struggled internally with justifying being naturally like that because others gave me the message that something was wrong with having this natural, happy, free-spirited, carefree, loving disposition in life.
I even got turned down for a job because the interviewer told me later that “You were too confident.” He has no idea that he turned down a talented, happy spirit that could have really ignited this workplace with passion and bring business to him.
My brother in-law, who has known me for most of my life, recently said to me, “I always remember you saying, that the world is so beautiful.” Truth is – that is how I have always seen the world and people – beautiful. Sound naïve but even now by eyes and heart still respond to the world in the same way.
As a little girl, I cannot count the number of times I was told that I am too friendly and that I should not smile for everyone. As a teenager it became worst. I remember the struggles my parents had trying to control me and how much they cautioned me that everyone is not my friend. I had no boundaries around me – I simply trusted everything and everyone and moved through life as if the world belonged to me. I just embraced it all completely. I had no reason not to trust. I saw no difference between rich, poor, class…. up to now, my brain has a hard time figuring this kind of stuff out. I simply see people as one, striped of poverty or richness.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that it is almost impossible to keep me from laughing and smiling. Why? It is my nature. It is within the soul and core of my being. No matter how much I try to contain it or stifle it, it seems to be impossible – and believe me, I have tried so hard to be a more logical, serious, not-too-trusting kind of person. Even in the tragedies and dark moments of my life, I can turn them quickly into comedies and laugh at myself.
Although I naturally open up to people (sometimes it seems almost out of my control – it just happens) I would later reprimand myself saying things like, “Oh no… there you go again… can’t you just keep your hands to yourself? Why do you have to hug everyone? Why do you have to smile for everyone? Why do you have to be so friendly? Why are you so helpful? Can’t you just say no?” Even when I built perfect relationships with others and nothing bad happened, I would still reprimand myself, feeling that it was somehow not quite right for being “too happy, too free-spirited, too joyful”.
Isn’t this sad? As a grown-up now looking at the world around me, I see how much more love we need to live less stressful lives. I can see how doubt and fear are absolutely eating at the core of our souls.
This last year has given me an opportunity to analyse myself a bit more as I look at my soul mission, my own natural strengths and what makes me really tick about life. I realize that my natural strengths were what I almost drowned and threw away because it made others uncomfortable. It has taken years for me to appreciate and see that there is nothing wrong with me and that my natural disposition in life – of being joyful and happy is an asset to everything that I do… not a weakness and certainly not something to be careful about. It is my strength to connect effortlessly with others that make me successful in the work which I do and generally successful in life. It is my natural strength to laugh that makes my spirit feel so light and bring light energy into a space and make others feel happy too. It is my strength to be free-spirited and carefree that allows me to go forth into this world fearlessly and full of love. It is my strength to love others without needing to know anything about them that makes me build so many amazing friendships. It is my strength to trust life completely that gives me the courage to face my challenges and embrace dark moments completely, knowing full well that I am a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars – I have a right to be here.
Today, I stand firm in my power and strength as Magdalene – a happy, free-spirited, joyful person – contented on the inside and loving myself for being that way and not needing to make an excuse for it or feel that it is wrong being that way. I love the total beauty that I see in the world. I love the people I meet. I choose to live my life trusting others completely instead of living in fear and doubt of others.
Think of your natural disposition in life. Creative? Easy-going? Hard-working? Caring? Loving? Genuine? Trusting? Helpful? Concerned? Energetic? Charming?
Research has actually proven that people who are in jobs where they can use their natural strengths perform better and achieve great results.
How do you feel about you?
Do you have those inner voices making you feel that something is wrong with you?
Examine those voices carefully because they may not be YOUR true voice. It may be the voice of others who have drowned your true authentic self. If you just know that an inkling of that natural disposition is right there within you, dig a bit further…. you got to let it shine. I have met too many people who have packaged their strengths and talents as a weakness and live miserable lives because they have not been able to turn it around.
TuneIn to your natural strengths. Study how you use these strengths. StepUp to use these strengths to accomplish your soul mission. It is all there within you.
Sign up for a TuneIn and StepUp Challenge in 2014. We are looking for world-wide participation.