I felt tense and my stomach was very unsettled.
It was 4 p.m.
I needed to be somewhere at 8 p.m.
But between 4 – 8, I had a list of 8 things to do, which altogether required about 6 hours.
My body became anxious because my brain was screaming at me to “SLOW DOWN” because it could not keep up with my physical body trying to accomplish all the things I planned to accomplish before 8 that evening. My agenda was tight – I needed to shop for an outfit, go to the gym, pick up a friend, take my daughter out to her friend’s house, have a telephone interview and prepare dinner for the kids… all before 8p.m.
My heart was beating faster than normal and my hands were sweating. My body felt like curling up and never walking up. My phone was beeping constantly and I knew if I picked it up, it would delay my evening even more. Someone else needed my attention while I was falling apart trying to keep to my agenda. I suddenly started getting upset at myself and everyone.
My chest got tighter and tighter and my breathing became very shallow. I felt that my body simply could not move with the normal agility which I am used to. My head felt lighter – almost dizzy.
What was that feeling? Anxiety? Stress?
As I shopped, I kept monitoring my body and I got the signal from my brain to “just stay with the shopping… that is all we can do today… don’t do anything else… if you do, you will crash.” After my shopping expedition, I decided to listen to the signal and I stopped. While the rest of the stuff were all important, it was better to go home, get a bath, relax and just get to the event at 8:00p.m. The rest of the stuff, were not life threatening.
Interestingly enough, as soon as I made the decision to go home, my entire body relaxed. My breathing pattern changed. I got home, relaxed in the shower, took my time to dress and felt much better. My friend whom I had to pick up called to say that she could no longer make it to the event with me. I felt sad but at the same time, it freed some more time. At the end, I had an enjoyable evening and all the stress that seem to have been captured in my body got released (especially after dancing to some reggae music!).
My brain said, “Thank you Magdalene for listening. You don’t have to do everything all at once. Learn to pace yourself. You need to get the brain and the body to work in sync.”
I thrive living a high pace life. I get bored if I don’t have several things going on at the same time but I had never experienced that high level of anxiety before (or maybe I have but simply kept going) so I decided to do some research around anxiety. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about one-third of those suffering receive treatment.”
As I read through the article, I took a few moments to analyse what triggered such a high level of anxiety and came to the conclusion that my brain and body simply went off balance in trying to manage my expectations within a timeframe that was not physically practical. Therefore, the best way my brain and body could protect me from harming myself further, was to shut down. How could I have not known that? But as I studied my own behaviour patterns over the last few weeks, I also realize that as I picked up some new activities, I let go of the most important ones which are necessary for my wellbeing: exercise, lots of water, lots of fruits and vegetables and lots of time to relax. My patterns changed and this anxiety attack became a positive clue for me to take stock of myself again.
Some of the things that also heightens our anxiety levels are over commitment, procrastination, not making decisions quickly enough, lack of sufficient exercise, not having enough time between activities to unwind, expectations which do not match reality and lack of planning. In my case, I should have realized that I could not do 6 hours of stuff in 4 hours!
If the studies are true about how anxiety affects so many people, then we are all bombarded at some point with someone who is literally falling apart. Here are a few things which the the Anxiety and Depression Association of America recommends to help you feel better:
TuneIn to how you feel on a regular basis and note when your body is sending you signals that something may be a bit “off.” StepUp and become aware of what triggers your anxiety. With small changes, you can work way back to feeling better.
What triggers your anxiety? How do you manage your anxiety? Is the expectations of others higher than you can manage? Is social media a cause for anxiety? Do share your thoughts!