I got a surprise this morning when I opened my e-mail and saw an e-mail from one of my favourite best-selling authors, who has is the author of several books and hosts a radio show as well. I wrote to her in December asking for a review of my magazine but I assumed that she would be too busy to even respond to me. However, I remained open. Now that we are communicating, I am super excited because she is now reading it.
Asking has been a learning journey for me. Each time I open my mouth to ask for something I need, I feel that my courage muscles grow a bit more. It was not always like that – I have spent sleepless nights debating whether I should ask or not. Now, I have simplified it to knowing I will receive the following possible answers (not always in those direct words) and I have made peace with all of them:
Last Summer, one of my most beautiful asking moments, happened with a business man who sponsored one of our events. I was very nervous calling him (because I am afraid of rejection). However, within five minutes after I put in my ask, he asked, “how much?” I told him the price and he said, “Come around, I will have a cheque ready for you.” It all happened within five minutes! I almost lost out on that opportunity because of my fear of rejection!
I know for a fact though, that if we don’t ask, we will miss out on opportunities. I have also grown to accept rejection as part of the process and learnt not to judge the response or responder. I remain open and comfort myself with the fact that I did my part – I asked for what I needed. I cannot control the response.
Why don’t we ask for what we need?
One of life’s fundamental truths states, ‘Ask and you shall receive.’ As kids we get used to asking for things, but somehow we lose this ability in adulthood. We come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons to avoid any possibility of criticism or rejection. Jack Canfield
What do you need? Have you identified who can give it to you? Maybe they can’t do it directly, but they could refer you to someone who can give you what you need.
It is not our role to assume the response of the other person. Don’t assume things like they are too busy, it is too trivial, you’re bothering them, they don’t understand etc.
What would you gain if they simply said YES to your ask. Let that possibility be your motivator for asking.