“What do people mean ‘to try one more time?'” he asked me. He was an older gentleman, a journalist, philosopher and writer. I looked at him more closely. Was the question really the question he wanted to ask? His body language and the expression on his face revealed to me a man who was desperately trying to hold on but was beginning to lose his grip. His self-confidence was diminishing. I could feel the spirit of a man who was once happy with a fulfilling career and who had also held positions of seniority.
“Exactly what it means.” I said. “Try one more time.”
“But I have tried,” he responded.
“What is the opposite of trying?” I asked. “What would happen if you did not try one more time?”
“Well, I would give up.” he shrugged.
We continued the discussion about this notion of “trying one more time.” It is difficult. It is heart wrenching to see another human being experience failure after failure for reasons which they do not understand and to be quite honest, sometimes do not even make sense. Most of us plan our lives in a logical way and with proper planning, we would expect a good result – which is normally good earnings to support our families and live our dreams.
I see the self-confidence of amazing human beings diminish because they lost something which grounded them – loss of family, marriage, job, money, children, power, control, friendships etc. Some give up and never recover. Some give up their fight for life. Some settle for much less.
However, I have also seen individuals who have used all those losses as a spring-board to grow wings and have challenged themselves to get out of their comfort zone by seeking new networks, leveraging their talent, taking a different approach to living, deconstructing their belief system, creating new initiatives – sometimes even changing environments by moving home, city or country to get a new start.
I once asked a friend who had gone through a very difficult period and lost millions of dollars and his family how he managed to get back on his feet. He said to me, “I am not extra ordinary. I am just an ordinary man with persistence.”
My small piece of advice on that day, after realizing that he had made so many attempts, was to help him restore some joy in his own soul. “Stop thinking about you. Let us turn this around… let us practise some acts of kindness each day. Do something for someone else – however little.” Usually, when we are desperate, we don’t realize that we are also giving desperate energy to those around us. Each time we engage in doing something positive, we uplift our energy which extends beyond us and add light to the world. I also encouraged him to take action. Action changes everything – sometimes it even leads to chaos but with more action, the chaos gets sorted out.
To try one more time, means not to give up on yourself. From a spiritual perspective, I believe that when we experience great loss, it is perhaps that the universe is teaching us the law of detachment and to grow some of our spiritual muscles like courage, strength and being completely non-judgemental. To find peace in our soul when everything else is gone from our lives, is one of the greatest test which a human being can go through.
Would you try one more time? Your life is a gift. YOU are a gift. Let us try one more time.