All week, I have been thinking of what my word for 2019 will be and I just found it!
I don’t want to do what I did in 2018. I chose the word FRUGAL, trying to develop some better savings habit and trying to be more careful with money… but that word just did NOT work for me. What it made me discover about myself, was that I am NOT a frugal person and my most miserable moments were trying so hard to be frugal. I felt that life constricted around me. I know for sure that I enjoy living from the space of ‘unlimited abundance’ and that my serving and giving to life, that I receive 100% more than what I give. This is an deeply rooted belief and somehow, trying to be frugal caused more anxiety and constriction in my energy fields.
So, what will my 2019 word be?
I will embrace my crazy self to spur me on to getting out of my head and manifesting every single crazy idea I have had about living!
As soon as the word hit my head this morning, it felt right! It brought a smile to my face and an extra lightness and excitement to my heart! That is what your word for the year should feel like – right in your soul!
For most of my life, someone or the other has called me crazy! And sometimes, I have detested it because it makes me feel like something is wring with me. But you know what, I think most of them meant it in a complimentary way. I just checked the meaning of the word crazy, and here is what I found:
mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.
“Stella went crazy and assaulted a visitor” · [more]
mad · insane · out of one’s mind · deranged · demented · [more]
“I’m crazy about Cindy” · [more]
very enthusiastic · passionate · fanatical · excited · very keen on · [more]
(of an angle) appearing absurdly out of place or in an unlikely position.
“the monument leaned at a crazy angle”
For the records, I am not mentally deranged.
So my own definition is that I will be ‘out of my mind, extremely enthusiastic…appearing out of place or in an unlikely position!
My sentence at the end of 2019 will be, “What a crazy year this was!” and it will mean:
“You crazy girl lived out of your mind! You are so extremely enthusiastic about life that you appeared out of place and ended up in unlikely positions! Your craziness created momentum around you and you had such an enjoyable year being YOU without the safeguards for approvals and permissions! Well done – CRAZY does it!”
I reflected a little bit on my life and also realized that in my crazy moments, I seemed to have experienced quite a lot of joy. In 2018, I did a few crazy things – left my job for an adventure in Rwanda with Wilson – one of the best life experiences which I have had. We travelled to Cape Town, South Africa where I watched him in admiration presenting at the World Travel Market. We explored the city and sites of Cape Town with great enthusiasm. I even reached out to a stranger whom I met in a FB group and we met at our hotel in Cape Town and she is now a good friend on FB.
We rode on a motorcycle in Rwanda with an unstable helmet through the woods and red dirt earth to get to the Twin Lakes, on the border of Rwanda and Uganda. I crazily spoke my truth through tears and allowed myself to be vulnerable to my feelings. I walked for hours in a strange city and sat with servers at a local restaurant, who had limited English skills, helping me to figure out how to get back home. Looking back, those crazy moments seem to have removed something – fear for the unknown… and then brought some new confidence in walking the unknown path.
Today, in this moment, it feels like I need to be a bit more crazy to tap into the unknown parts of my world so that I can step up more purposefully in not merely existing but THRIVING! Overthinking can significantly alter your momentum for a life wrapped with the treasures and pleasures of LIVING.
Happy 2019! Be your best CRAZY self.