Are you letting 'comfortable sadness' feel like 'happiness'?
"Another day on the couch. A promise that I will 'start again' tomorrow. A unreturned phone call or email. A 'stop bothering me' attitude. A blanked out mind. A blurred day at work. An empty feeling lying in bed. Another drink. Another slice of cake. Another tantrum. No visitors. No place to visit. No invitations. A day goes by. A week goes by. A month goes by. Three months go by. Six Months go by. One year goes by. Five years go by. A decade goes by. A lifetime vanishes. Sometimes, one event happens in our lives that seem to throw us off our equilibrium.¬† A feeling of rejection, the loss of a job, the unruly child, the ungrateful friend, squabbling parents, the unattained dream, the loss of loved ones, the guilt of living after loss, a financial crisis... the list can go on. Shutting the door to the world and 'being alone' behind closed doors, in our own bubbles, seem to even protect us. This is the furthest from truth as it could get. Human beings happiness comes from being of service, being useful and supporting life. Without this 'contributing energy', it is easy for us to feel purposeless. The system seem to wear us down and a fog settles over us, like a comfortable blanket. As my son Jelan, once said to me, ""Comfortable sadness can almost feel like happiness."" He was about 18 at the time, but has always been quite a reflective, out of the box thinker. Our conversation that morning hinged on how we 'see' life from our various perspectives, drawing specific reference to the vision which a giraffe has of the world is different when compared to a turtle. Our conclusion was that a person's vision is unique to them - they can only see as far as their unique level. The conversation expanded to our general disposition in life and how we perceive others and how others may also perceive us. He said something which left quite an impact on my mind: ""Comfortable sadness can almost feel like happiness."" How profound. How true. It made me realize that sometimes we hold on to sadness or any other broken emotion,¬† because it is comfortable and easier to live with. To step away from that feeling will require greater effort from us... and why bother? We perhaps don't know what it is like to be happy or may have even decided that we don't deserve to be happy. Sometimes, we repeat our unhappy stories until we make them become 'how' our lives should be. Even when opportunities to be happy are begging us to join in the vibrancy of happiness, it is more comfortable to remain in our sadness. Sadness can even become a way of life and eventually defines our personalities, our lives and even the relationships which we share with others. it is important to fight back to claim our rightful spaces on this earth because we were all born to contribute something meaningful to Mother Earth.¬† I admire Jelan's optimistic nature and how he explores his life from all angles to engage in living a fun, happy and fulfilled life. You can change this comfortable sadness to a conscious decision to be happy. Do one small thing for someone else. Start a conversation. Make a phone call. Go for that walk. Read a good book. Smile. Look for a ways to connect with real people. I believe that each time the universe feels our happiness, there is a global shift in human consciousness towards greater love, compassion and kindness... and even with one single breath of happiness... the entire world beams. I believe that sadness does the same thing... every single moment of sadness, also creates a global shift in human consciousness towards greater despair and fear. It is¬† O.K. to be sad but don't let sad moments turn into a lifetime of sadness. It is O.K. to be happy. Multiply your happy moments over and over again. Affirmations for the day: I am happy. I choose happiness as my way of life. I embrace laughter, joy, fun... as much as I can... as I push beyond my boundaries I am so delighted with all the wonderful people, great opportunities, amazing places and beautiful moments which this world is blessing me with every day. Being happy is a decision. Getting up from the couch is a decision. Making that phone call is a decision. Let us make some good decisions and live joyfully... it is our birthright.¬† Don't let comfortable sadness deny you of a happy, fulfilled life. Love, Mags"