I don't think that a good relationship requires hard work

"One of the questions on a dating profile asks: A good relationship should not require hard work. The answer options are: a) True b) False What is your answer? I think that a good relationship requires each person doing the right thing for the other person to feel loved and feel valued but I don't think that it is necessarily hard work, although it requires effort and awareness.  If the same question was asked about your job - A good career should not require hard work - I would also say that a good career requires effort but first of all, it needs to be the right career for you... or else it becomes hard work which leaves your soul feeling empty. But what is the right thing? Who is the right partner and what is the right job?
  • How is it that two people fall in love and after a while can't stand being in the presence of each other?
  • Why does a person's soul feel so empty even after their loved one has done something they would consider that is amazing for the other person?
  • Why is it that sometimes both are working hard at the relationship but neither feels loved and valued?
  • Why is that we feel that we are fighting so hard and feel completely frustrated at the end of the day that we can't even be in the same room?
  • Are relationships over romanticised that our expectations of each other are unreal?
  • Why is it that we work so hard at our jobs, feel undervalued and go home feeling that there is no meaning in our lives?
I think that the answer to these questions are more complex than what meets the eye.  Gary Chapman, in his book ""The Five Love Languages"" shed some light on this matter. He classifies the love languages as Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service or Physical Touch.    We seem to all have a primary love language to communicate to others and also interprets the love we receive from each other from this same love language perspective.   My personal two love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time and I can clearly see how I respond so well in a relationship or work environment which provides these elements.  I naturally affirm others good qualities and appreciate it when they do the same for me.  I like spending quality time with others - walks, dinner, conversation, drinks, spas, exercise... There is a quiz to help you understand your love language and some tips to help you navigate through your relationship.  Please see this website for more information: http://www.the-relationship-coach.com/five-love-languages-quiz.html In addition to these five love languages and based on my own life experiences, I think that the following things, from a soul perspective, can also play a part in making or breaking a relationship. I will attempt to ask questions and provide some examples... this is still a journey I am exploring. b) Could it be possible that you and your partner have chosen each other from a previous lifetime? Could it be that the reason you are together is to learn some lessons in this current lifetime? Not everyone believes in past lives but I do and have met several people who have gained a deeper perspective about their relationship because of a past life reading.  In one of my past live readings, I shared a previous lifetime with my husband.  In that era, he was an aristocrat and I was the obedient wife who stayed at home.  However, I longed to have my voice be heard.  I was an intelligent woman who had ideas to create things and advance education but I was restricted to do so in that particular era. As part of the evolution of our own souls, we chose to come back together to share another lifetime to butt heads about my need to have my voice be heard.  Within our marriage, one of our biggest struggles was simply not being able to be on the same page with each other.  I had a deep need to be out there and he had a deep need to restrict this as it did not make him feel secure within our marriage (and looking back, I have an appreciation for why he felt that way). We both worked hard at trying to make it work - which meant  great efforts on compromising and keeping a focus on the family.  Yet, this nagging feeling continued at my soul level of feeling ""suffocated and restricted"".  It was a feeling that I could not completely explain logically as I do believe that my husband loved me .... so why could I not settle in the relationship? Many years after our separation, I decided to do a past life reading out of curiosity.   As the reader channeled this particular past life to me, it all made sense.  We had a karmic past together and that energy was still in both of our  soul energy fields (which explains the reason for feeling suffocated). This awareness created a sudden shift in me to blame him less and be more compassionate towards myself.  It helped me understand and embrace myself and the need to have my voice heard to fulfill my own soul mission in this lifetime, even though it meant making really tough decisions. Choosing to let go of the relationship, even though the stakes were high and it was a painful transition with huge life changes, freed my soul in a powerful way. Our experience with past lives are not only limited to lovers and our relationships.  Some of the people who share karmic past lives with us, show up in our work places, in our social activities and within our families as well.  If you take the time to explore, you will be surprised at what you will find!!!  All of this sounds unrealistic but there is growing evidence of those karmic ties. b) How does your partner reflect your inner world? Is your inner world full of turmoil, anger, fear, love, compassion... are you driven by your ego or are you driven to create a beautiful relationship? During one interview, here is an example of how this played out: Woman: ""Every time he goes out, he finds some woman to give his phone number to and before you know it, he is texting her all the time and then he has an affair with her!"" Man: ""Can't I just talk to other people? I don't see anything wrong with that!"" After a more probing discussion, the following things emerged which brought to the surface both of their inner worlds. I asked each of them: ""When you look at your partner, do you see her in your future? Can you see yourself waking up with her every day and enjoy being together?"" His answer was ""No"".  His inner world had not yet made a commitment to himself to be with this woman. His inner world was still exploring new relationships and as a result he kept on attracting these other women in his life at both a subconscious level and a conscious level. Her answer was: ""Not if he continues to behave like this. I don't trust him!"" ""Why don't you trust him?"" I asked. She replied that since they met each other, there has always been another woman in the relationship. She believes that she loves him and if she keeps on nagging him to change his behaviour, then he will grow up and love her back.  Her inner world does not trust him. Her lack of trust in him makes her keep careful track of his whereabouts, monitors his phone, nags at him and is suspicious of his whereabouts when he is not with her.  Her constant frantic thoughts of him being with someone else actually creates the self-fulfilling prophesy in making affairs happen since she accuses him of it daily. Since he cannot commit himself, within his own heart and soul to her and she cannot trust him completely, no matter how hard they work at having a home, having children, building a business.... neither one of them are going to enjoy the relationship in a holistic and complete way.  The soul will be left thirsty.  They may chose to remain together for financial security and family connections but after years and years of being in this type of relationship, it can take a huge emotional toll on a person's health. Only when the inner world changes will there be a change in the outer world.  To change the inner world requires greater introspection about why we do what we do... as our awareness changes...so does our experiences. Some of our deep issues around trust, fear, love and doubt stems sometimes from past lives and childhood experiences that we have not been able to put in perspective. TuneIn today to your inner world?  Are your experiences in life mirroring what you deeply believe?  Are you wearing a mask to cover what is going on?  StepUp to remove the mask.  Somewhere beneath the mask, your soul is longing for you to have the courage to StepUp and be authentic and true to yourself.  All that you need to continue the journey will be provided to you. Love, Magdalene"

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