“One thing I’ve learned in life is that I can speak for myself, that I can fight my own battles. I don’t like anyone telling me how I’m supposed to feel or think or what I’m supposed to say.” ― Hope Solo
I bit my tongue several times as my mind whirled trying to find words to articulate my truth and say exactly what I felt. It was painful as I watched the lies unfold and people diplomatically fluffed their way out of an uncomfortable situation using their art of diplomacy and power. The empty words of “opportunity” “collaboration” suddenly seem to lose their true meaning and became a vehicle for deceit, denying the truth, protecting territory, protecting their sphere of control and power.
I left feeling choked, unheard and angry. And these are a few of the emotions which drain us, make us sick, build protective walls around us. These unheard feelings from the heart and soul leads to war, distrust and ongoing conflict. Anger, very often is portrayed as an unhealthy emotion but I have learnt that when anger surfaces in our lives, we must give it a voice because something led to it.
I have always believed that being diplomatic is essential to get things done, avoid conflict, settle disputes and generally keep you on good terms with every one. It is a mindset for me to get along with every one! Although I still believe this, recent experiences makes me wonder whether diplomacy also makes us loose our voices, become “YES” people and tolerate what our souls know is not healthy for us or the rest of the world.
Most of our jobs and our lives generally require us to be diplomatic. What do you do when something is obviously wrong but you have to be the diplomatic person to save the deal, protect the company, protect the image of your colleague, friend, family boss or partner?
One of the greatest energy suckers or energy vampires in not being able to speak your truth for fear of the consequences – losing an opportunity, losing friendships, losing deals, losing promotions, losing long-term gains. We cover our authenticity with “sweet talk”, play on words, lack of clarity, over promise or under promise… any thing to avoid conflict and direct openness.
But do you know what happens at the end of all this diplomacy from a personal perspective? We lose ourselves. We betray our souls. We sell ourselves way too short. We live half fulfilled lives and in some cases we lose our dreams completely. Our eyes lose their shine and our energy simply cannot rise to meet the higher levels for self actualization and spiritual depth.
What would it feel like if you simply told the truth? What if you did not have to be diplomatic for one day? What would you do differently? Would you tell a few people to F…. off? Would it release some pressure from your heart and soul? Do you have a responsibility to be authentic to yourself?
For each lie we tell our soul, keeps us further and further away from the life we are meant to live.