“I can live my life now ‘in the bother of it’… I can live in the uncertainty of things and know that uncertainty is not a place of fear and it is o.k to take time to figure things out in that space of uncertainly” Orin Saunders, business man from New York City at the International Black Summit in Ottawa, August 4th, 2013. Part of his life experience is in my previous blog.
I have thought about this and I realize how often we want to fix things,get things right, look perfect, give more than we have, get upset if it does not work out according to how we planned it… But what if we just accepted to live in the bother of it?
Yesterday, I planned to meet a friend after work. On my way to our planned meeting place, I got a text that said something important came up and she could not make it. The first moment left me completely upset because I had rushed through my workout at the gym just to be able to meet with her. Then I reminded myself to “be in the bother of it.” and that everything would be fine.
What triggered my upset? I was looking forward to seeing her and I had given up something important to be with her.
Did I complete my part to be with her? YES
Was there anything more I could do about the situation? NO
Did it make the relationship any less special? NO because even though I was not a priority for some reason now, does not mean it has been like this. Further more, I don’t have all the facts to make a judgement on why she cancelled.
And so a smile broke on my face after I had cleared my head with my feeling of disappointment. Suddenly I heard a squeal and right in front of me was a friend I had not seen for about 8 years whom I had thought of for the longest while. I had lost her contact information and only knew her by her first name. We were so excited to see each other and kept on hugging each other over and over again. We had a lovely spontaneous dinner together…it was a beautiful evening.
Maybe ‘living in the bother’ does not always manifest itself into something that instantaneous but I know that from my own personal experience, “being with what is” and “accepting what is” no matter what is going on in our lives, creates a deep trust within our hearts and souls to be at peace with ourselves. Life speaks to us through all the ups and downs in our lives. If we can live and be perfectly comfortable with ‘the bother’, we will continue to trust life… all will reveal itself in time.
TuneIn today to our own ‘bothers’. What triggers them? Is there something we need to take to completion? Maybe or maybe not. Can you StepUp and be with what is, without needing to fix or solve it?