A Beautiful Memory Of My Father

As I pen these words, I can almost hear him humming as he made the coffee. The smell of the cologne would perfume the entire house mixed with the aroma from the coffee. This seemed to have been his special reflective moment on most work days.

This memory came up in my Facebook feeds and I almost shed a few tears. In moments like this, I am glad that I write! I can’t imagine how many memories I would lose if I did not record them!

April 8th, 2018

Tonight, I had a cup of coffee just before dinner (which I don’t normally have in the evenings). As I sipped the coffee, I found myself thinking of my father and feeling quite amused about those little memories that pop into my mind when I least expect it. My dad always had a cup of coffee before his dinner. Every evening, he would bathe, shave, dress up nicely, put on some cologne and have a cup of coffee in the balcony alone, while my mom prepared his dinner.

As I pen these words, I can almost hear him humming as he made the coffee. The smell of the cologne would perfume the entire house mixed with the aroma from the coffee. This seemed to have been his special reflective moment on most work days. It is interesting how we (the kids) did not disturb him either! It was sort of understood by all of us, that this was his time. Looking back, I think that my dad had some aristocratic blood in him. He was quite a fine gentleman, with his own philosophy about life and played by his own rules to a large extent. He was very humble, generous… and when he dressed… he was quite a good looking gentleman too! He was sleek!

You know when you are growing up, you think that the older folks are just weird…. and it seems now that I am getting a bit weird too… funny how life works!

I am grateful for such memories. It keeps me grounded to my roots and to the memories of my parents.

Any memories to share?

Can you live your future in the NOW?

” Do you live your future in the now?”  I asked Mr. Luis on the train while he took a break from attending to the passengers.

Magdalene and Louis - Final

“No.” he said. “My future? I cannot even think about it.  I have to live in the present now, to take care of my wife and children and make sure that they have everything they need.  Having children is a lot of responsibility – I never imagined that it was so much work!”

He shared with me what his single life was like as a flight attendant in Brazil and the thrill of flying all over the world. Settling to having a family, has certainly had an impact on his sense of freedom and adventure although he totally loves his family.  He thinks that one day, he will perhaps have his old life back.  He feels that his life is on pause while he is waiting for the kids to grow up.

But what if there is no pause?

When my kids were younger, I too thought my life was on pause while I raised them.  I could not fully enjoy raising my kids because of the void of not having my previous lifestyle.

However, one day I realized that,  “This is your life.  This family is your future.  There is no pause – you have to find a way to make everything you do now, matter enough so that you can  connect the dots. You can live your future by paying attention to what you do  in the now.”

Years later, I can see that if I had continued to focus on the single lifestyle I no longer had, I would have missed out on the new opportunities that life was presenting to me to grow and invest in my role as a mother and also living in the now with them.

Vietnamese group

Across from my seat on the train,  were three young people, so I seized the opportunity to interview them as well. When I interview people, I actually live my future now, as this is all part of my bigger future and I can feel how right it feels for me.  They were from Vietnam, studying in Toronto and heading to Ottawa for a two-day visit during their study break.

“Do you live your future  in the now?” I asked them.  At first, they looked a bit confused.  Elise tried to explain that the future was something that she was planning for as she is studying Human Resources at school,  Loane said that she plans the future step by step – she needs to have a map of the plans and so far she is on track with the plan;  Will said that he lives fully in the present and enjoys his life in the now, although he has bigger plans for the future. Will shared  his favourite quote by Steve Jobs:

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked  myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am  about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a  row, I know I need to change something.”

Will had only learnt of the trip to Ottawa the night before but he jumped on board because it was aligned with what he likes to do – travelling, exploring, meeting new people. The three shared their life experiences in choosing to study in Canada and I was touched by their motivation to make their lives better, to make sure that their parents were proud of them; to increase their knowledge of life and the world so that they can live better lives.  Will’s contact card. spoke about his own philosophy.  The front was black and gold.

will's card

He designed it himself with the crown symbol at the top and a dot in the center which represents three people.  His belief is that three people makes things better than 2 people when they come together. There is a balance to solve conflict and to create more opportunities. Interestingly enough, he was travelling in a group of three.

The back of his card was black and white and said, “Different is beautiful.”  I think that this says it all!  By just living now from that inner space, does make you live your future now – it is your mental mindset about life.

Will's card 2

The three young people left a few tips to other people to “Live their future now.”

  • Balance your health daily.  Workout, eat right and think positive.
  • Increase your socialization so that you build relationships and not live in isolation.
  • Make a big enough plan as a guide but enjoy your life fully in the present. You need to have an idea of where you are going.
  • Live your life before you die.
  • Increase your knowledge everyday of something which you are interested in. Learn something new – it makes your mind feel fresh.
  • Travel – it makes you see new things.
  • Follow your interest and do what you love.
  • Do good for others because life returns it to you.

Loan shared with me that one way she lives her future now, is by going to various coffee shops and taking notes of how the business  is managed. She is passionately interested in having her own coffee shop in Vietnam one day!

I live my future in the now by consciously creating moments  that naturally leap me into the bigger future. It is all  about the choices were make, moment to moment.

TuneIn today to your conscious choices.  Do these choices feel right for you?  Can you see how each of those small choices are leading to the bigger future?  StepUp to live your future in the NOW, using your imagination and your amazing internal power to create the life you want to live!

Love,

Magdalene