How do we forgive those who hurt us?

Forgiveness…. this can be a heavy word for some. We are all vulnerable to being hurt at some point in our lives. One thing I know for sure, based on my own life experiences, is that forgiving frees my soul. It creates space for me to attract more beautiful things in my life rather than to harbour hurts which drain my energy.

Here is a short video from Mags Morning Inspiration to inspire your thoughts on forgiveness.



The smallest piece of advice that builds from the bottom up…

_DSC2334(My friend Gina at the launch of Mags Magazine. She came to support even when I had not seen her for a long, long time.  She left an impact on my life many years ago when we shared an office space.)

She gently rubbed my back.  Her voice was so comforting in my moment of distress.  As if my magic, my pain disappeared as her healing hands restored my brokenness.

“Magdalene, it is so important for us to respect every single person in the places where we work.  Show  love, kindness and respect to each person at the very bottom of the organization.  No one is too small or too big  If you can do that, they will give you back that respect and open doors for you too.”

As Gina and I spoke that day, she was able to ground me and help me put the situation in a healthy perspective.  At that moment, I was struggling with an issue of power and control. Our jobs are built in a hierarchical structure. This structure creates distorted lines  as the egos of those in high positions become so inflated that they cannot relate to those who are in the ‘lower’ levels – be it the cleaner or the dishwasher or the receptionist or the maid.  Those who are below gets crushed and too often feel undervalued for their contribution.

We all need to feel valued. People who feel valued are likely to produce a higher quality of work, are more committed to their jobs and add a greater positive feeling to the work environment.

In the rush the day, we can show how we value each other through simple things:

– exchanging a polite and uplifting greeting as you  pass each other in the elevator or the stairs

– sending a thank you note for work well done

– asking ‘how are you?’

– acknowledging that everyone’s role in the organization is important

– providing the tools and resources which someone needs to make their job better

– spending a few minutes to really check in to see how things are going

– keeping your word on doing something you promised

– asking for advice in the decision-making process

– genuinely listening

Today, think about the people whom you work with.  How do you show that you value them?  It is genuine? Do you show that you value them in the way that you expect others to value you?

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
Albert Einstein



Do you deliver 70% or 100%?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA“Don’t expect others to do things exactly as you would do it yourself. If you can deliver at least 70%, it is o.k.” These were the words of my mentor advising me on how to deal with a project several years ago.

Why was 70% o.k for him? It was not good enough for me. At that time, I had high expectations of myself and others plus the need to control the results of the project which added additional stress on my mind and the team. I couldn’t understand why others could not put as much effort in getting things done as I was.

Wisdom kicked in over the years. I have lost several committed friends to illness and death who wished they had a more balanced approach and had spent more time enjoying the journey of life. I still aim high but I know that most importantly when managing projects and my life in general, each person involved can make or break the targeted results. For excellent execution, 80% of problems are solved by simply having the right people in the first place who also understand the true value of a team and how to balance each other. While we all want our visions to materialize perfectly, we need to consider other factors that life throws at us and continuously work at risk management. My mentor’s suggestion for delivering at least 70% of my results allows me to cater to the days that someone is ill; a few moments to enjoy and celebrate something special; a few moments to breathe a little better; a few moments to connect at a deeper level with someone; a few moments in between to simply let life lead me down paths I would not think about before. 70% allows me a few moments do nothing sometimes.

My 70% helps me to manage my expectations around other human beings in my path and acknowledge that they too are their own soul journeys with their dreams and challenges. Managing these expectations significantly reduces my stress level which increases my ability to manage everything around me better. Surprisingly, my 70% is becoming a restful and enjoyable 90% of living life generously, gracefully and with a sense of well-being. I actually prefer to live life with this balance than the stressful drive to getting things done perfectly well. Sometimes, we get to 100% with the least effort simply because a space has been created to be at ease with each other and to feel happy. When expectations are managed, we feel happier and life opens up more and more opportunities for us to live in this ideal space of well-being.

What is your % in meeting your life/soul deliverables? If going for a full 100% works for you, don’t limit yourself. We all have different approaches to work/life balance. TuneIn to how you balance your life and StepUp to create a space of well-being around you and those around you.


Do you know the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul?

To know that even too much sunshine can burn and there is a difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
Thank you Jorge Luis Borgeshat

You Learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong…
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.

Jorge Luis Borges