What are you welcoming into your life?

I found this cute little sign for my garden. WELCOME. A simple word which brings a deep invitation – for someone? something? an experience?. Until this moment, I never thought of the depth of the word, WELCOME

Most of us use this word to invite or greet others into a space. Most often, AHEAD OF TIME, we will think of creating an experience to welcome them such as providing food and drinks, clean towels, a well made bed, a small present, a well set table, a warm environment, a well thought of experience etc. We can feel when others create a special welcoming experience for us.

Have you ever though of how you welcome yourself into your own life or what you welcome into your life?

I welcome the wonderful gifts of nature into my life.

I welcome people who nurture and support me.

I welcome exerise and good nourishment for my body, which carries me all through the day and night.

I welcome kindness from others.

I welcome the feeling of safely and security wherever I go.

I welcome a work environment which challenges and uplifts my spirit.

By thinking ahead of what you CHOOSE to welcome into your life, you automatically attract more of the same. Eventually, you will realize that you are living a life which welcomes YOU first. This also automatically multiplies and makes it easier to create a welcoming space for others. We cannot treat others better than we treat ourselves… therefore be kind and loving to yourself and it will naturally draw more of the same to you.

Many thanks to those who have recently purchased Mags Magazine – Soulful Encounters. You can support my work by liking, commenting, sharing or taking action to live your soul mission.

Love,

Magdalene

Are you being treated as a door mat?

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“I feel overworked most of the time. I need to find a strategy to make my supervisor realize that I am not a doormat.” Sheila said quietly.

By that she meant the everything was being dumped on her – she had become a welcome place for all types of problems. She did not know how to say NO and could never prioritize. She felt undervalued and “taken advantage of”. She could feel the mental and emotional toll it had taken on her over the last year.

In my 20+ years of managing programs/people plus what research shows, this type of feeling from a staff manifest itself in various forms which can create hostile work environments. It is manifested in passive-agressive behaviours, low performance, constant “unspoken” battles, resentment, gossip, and lots of frustration. I have allowed others to treat me as a door mat and I learnt how to be more self-assertive. I coach people to discuss it instead of avoiding it because the problem is not just about you being treated like a door mat in the work environment. You are probably being treated as a door mat in your other relationships as well and most of it stems from a need to please others and to be liked. You can’t change your manager or team but you can take ownership for the situation and approach it sensitively.

Note that there is a difference between working hard and being treated as a door mat. Hard work which is aligned with your belief system fuels you to excel even greater!

Here is one approach that you can use if you feel overworked and feel treated as a door mat.

Try this:

Have a conversation with your manager about setting a list of priorities for a week/month/year. Be calm, smile through the conversation and go prepared with a list of items that are already on your plate. At the end of your discussion, type it up, share it with your manager and put it where you can see it to keep you focused.

Try this script: (Use the word “I” and NOT “YOU”)

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“I feel  bit overworked over the last few months and my objective is to reduce my stress level so I can work more efficiently. I would like to work with you to help me identify our priorities over the next little while, so that I can be more effective with how I use my time and support you in meeting our team goals.”

By using this strategy, you are taking ownership. You demonstrate professionalism and can measure your progress based on your priorities. If new tasks pop up, you can negotiate what to give priority to, seek support from your manager in re-assigning some of your tasks and be in charge of your workload. You will gain respect and feel that you are taking control of the situation and not the situation controlling you. You can also take some other courses in self-assertiveness or try a sports program like kick boxing that help you bring out the assertive side of you.

TuneIn to what you have control over and have the courage to Stepup to create a good work/life balance. The first time you do this will be hard but eventually, you will master it and it will become second nature to you.

Love,
Magdalene